So called "student leaders" suck my ass. Not literally of course, because I wouldn't let a "student leader" get anywhere near any part of me, especially my ass. I fear that if one did stray from the single file, follow-the-mindless-slob-in-front-of-me path of the "student leader" so as to get within close proximity of my ass, I might feel the need to assault him or her violently with a tack hammer. And I just don't have the money for that kind of dry-cleaning.

Anyway, the reason I'm homicidal toward the so called "student leaders" is because they clearly do not possess the level of competency required to lead a sock puppet, let alone another student. And despite this overwhelming idiocy that pervades "student leadershhip organizations" these so called "student leaders" continue to be recognized. The administration, or as we like to call them, the room full of chimpanzees with memo pads, goes out of their way to find something about a so called "student leader" to recognize.

These feelings stem from the annual awards ceremony that took place today at the college I attend. The idea behind the ceremony, in a nutshell, is this: a bunch of complete morons who somehow gained control of the school (possibly through the use of firearms and pickup trucks) get together and pick out the most severely retarded individuals that they can find, and then put them in charge of distributing awards. Then these monkees go about finding the most obviously unqualified, incompetent individuals on campus and give them all the awards. Sounds fair to me.

Anyway, as you may have guessed, I've been overlooked in the awards department this year, and I can't help but feel a little jilted. This is partly because they gave my award to a glass of orange juice. Or a girl with comparable intellect...tomAto, tomotto.

So here I sit, unrecognized for all of my hard work as a "student leader," having made a decision. First I decided that, as previously stated, "student leaders" suck my ass. And secondly, since "student leaders" suck my ass, I can no longer be part of this illustrious group, partly because of my new found cynicism, and partly because the sheer mechanics of sucking my own ass are mind-boggeling. So I'm throwing in the blood soaked towel, after having every ounce of optimism and enthusiasm sucked out of me by the monkees with memo pads, and the other so called "student leaders." Free at last.

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